What lead you to question these ideas, if I may ask?
Yeah exactly, by tying ourselves down we give significance to it. In addition, if we wouldn't care one bit about loosing somebody, did we ever value them in the first place?
Well for one, I had a bad experience in a relationship where I based everything off the default expectations about love and so did the other person. It ended because the "feelings" and therefore the "love" disappeared (she probably wasn't right for me anyway though, in hindsight).
And then after that, I read "all about love: new visions" by Bell Hooks that offered such a better way to look at it, that resonated with me. Also I just started questioning everything so it was only a matter of time till I questioned what love was.
Mhm ah okay and through that you questioned whether that approach was working for you. I'm sorry you had a bad experience there, but glad that you're now in another relationship (based off another comment on my posts) & hope that one is going strong!
Oh I've heard about that book, it's currently on my reading list. So you'd recommend it?
For one, I want to say your ideas flowed really well and I think I saw visible improvement in your writing compared to past pieces. Good job :)
And also, I strongly agree with everything you said. I had a period where I finally questioned my subconscious ideas of love (that seem to be the default in this culture), and came out with similar views to you.
Love isn't about finding the perfect person to give you what you need. The act of commitment itself is what creates meaning and value - and yes it opens us up to pain at what we can't control - but that's the point. Opening ourselves to the world is what gives us strength :)
Thank you for the kind comment!
What lead you to question these ideas, if I may ask?
Yeah exactly, by tying ourselves down we give significance to it. In addition, if we wouldn't care one bit about loosing somebody, did we ever value them in the first place?
Well for one, I had a bad experience in a relationship where I based everything off the default expectations about love and so did the other person. It ended because the "feelings" and therefore the "love" disappeared (she probably wasn't right for me anyway though, in hindsight).
And then after that, I read "all about love: new visions" by Bell Hooks that offered such a better way to look at it, that resonated with me. Also I just started questioning everything so it was only a matter of time till I questioned what love was.
Mhm ah okay and through that you questioned whether that approach was working for you. I'm sorry you had a bad experience there, but glad that you're now in another relationship (based off another comment on my posts) & hope that one is going strong!
Oh I've heard about that book, it's currently on my reading list. So you'd recommend it?
Okay cool, then I'll try to read it soon :)
The book "conversations on love" is also really good, inspired several ideas on my post too, maybe you'll enjoy it too.
Yes, it is great! :) it will probably say much of what you've already learned, but it does add some interesting ideas surrounding love
This is great.
For one, I want to say your ideas flowed really well and I think I saw visible improvement in your writing compared to past pieces. Good job :)
And also, I strongly agree with everything you said. I had a period where I finally questioned my subconscious ideas of love (that seem to be the default in this culture), and came out with similar views to you.
Love isn't about finding the perfect person to give you what you need. The act of commitment itself is what creates meaning and value - and yes it opens us up to pain at what we can't control - but that's the point. Opening ourselves to the world is what gives us strength :)