On the meaning of life
Part bullshit, Part real
If we’d have to reduce all of philosophy to one aim, it would be the question of purpose. Why am I living? I obsessed over it. Many hours were spent looking for an answer. In books, online forums or the blank walls I was staring at. I was afraid of failing, and wanted purpose to save me. If I just knew why I was here, my problems would be solved. At least I'd know what to do. I couldn't let go of this unresolved question but already had the bottom line written.1
I was certain that life had no objective meaning, therefore meaningless, ergo not worth living. I deemed this opinion rational, smart, correct, while not even noticing the assumptions I made and whether they were true. I was a conspiracy theorist, just a very philosophical, niche one.
I’d categorise my argument as follows:
Premise 1: Life has no objective meaning.
Premise 2: Something that has no objective meaning is meaningless.
Premise 3: If Life is meaningless, it is not worth living.
Conclusion 1: Life is meaningless.
Conclusion 2: Life is not worth living.
There are three premises that I'd need to prove so I could draw these two conclusions. Of course, we can't forget the two pages I'd have to dedicate just towards the definition of these terms. "What do you mean when you say want?", says a first-year philosophy student three seconds before getting punched in the face by the bartender. They asked for your order, not your dissertation. But seriously, what do you mean with “the meaning of life”? *ducks punch and runs out of bar*
What is meant by the meaning of life?
At its core, the meaning of life answers three questions: Why do we exist? Is life worth living? How should we live?
People might agree that the conclusion follows from the premise. They just think the premise is wrong. For example, you might agree that if Judaism is true, eating pork is a sin. You just aren’t a follower of this religion in the first place. The question of the meaning of life is such an issue. We might never find the one true answer, because it is dependant on so many different variables and views. If you believe in god, which god, if you‘re in favour of evolutionary psychology, if you think a soul exists, what soul, what about death, the afterlife or the question of morality? Of course we then won‘t have one, definitive end goal, and we might never will.
If I find my life’s purpose, why should I care? If it's fuck around and get drunk while I live in a cottage with a bedtime of eight p.m, so what? If fulfilling my purpose makes me happy and I want that, I'll let out my inner party freak. If I'll go to hell for ignoring my cosmic duty, and I want to avoid that, I'll obey in an instant. The actions are still embedded in if-then sequences. Why does our purpose even need to be normative? If the meaning of life is having a weird name and going to school in a British castle while fucking in the forest, then does this mean we should recreate the my immortal fanfiction?
If the meaning of life is merely a guideline on how to live, where it's questionable if we must even follow it, then why do we need one? Why do we seek that one true purpose?
Why do we want meaning?
After reading several books, articles and too many forum replies I realised that I didn't care if life had any meaning at all. I wasn't desperate because of a lack of purpose. I was desperate because my life was shit. I rationalised my position via asserting that life is not worth living because it's meaningless and so I don't have to change, case closed. I just wanted to appear very smart, so I clothed that excuse into philosophical aphorisms. If life is good, forever, and never ends, then who the fuck cares if it's meaningless? Yeah maybe being on that rollercoaster has no deeper purpose but it sure is a fun ride. Why not stay on it?
The reality is that death is inevitable and life's often very catastrophic. I want to believe all will be well but it won’t. Wars break out, pandemics arise, layoffs happen. One of my loved ones can die any second, I could pass away any time, or get into an accident where I'll have a lifelong disability...what do I do then? If I loose my health, if I loose my looks, my wealth? If I loose my home, my freedom, my family and friends? Does this view still hold, I’d just have to work on making my life better again? Do I need a different why? Or is it that because I value something, I have to accept the danger of loosing it? I can just try, try my best, and nothing more, and if I fail, I can just retry, retry my best, nothing more, and if I don't get back up, I hope I'll still have somebody to hold me...I might crash, drown, go out in the dark, but can you just hold me please? Can you just hold me while the flames lick our skin, hold me as the dark engulfs us, hold me as the waves are crashing against our boat? Please hold me.
The book “The Denial of Death” by Ernest Becker2 argues that our primary driver in life is the fear of death and its subsequent denial. We are torn animals. We see the differences to other species and argue that we deserve special treatment for that. Nature gives zero fucks though. We die and decay like any other creature. So we try to transcend death via meaning-making projects. Be it through traditional means like war, religion or having kids. Be it through modern methods such as therapy, romantic relationships or consumerism. Or be it trough transhumanism, longevity research and uploading minds. It all comes down to our wish for immortality.
Which points at the direct crux of why we desire meaning at all. We are searching for stability, comfort, an anchor. We‘re deeply afraid of failing, facing rejection, wasting our lifes and dying alone. What do we hang on to if all we set out to do goes up in flames? If everybody leaves us, we‘re nearing our end, and regret our major choices? We either despare or cling to a comforting purpose. We want meaning because we feel bad without one if push comes to shove. Not because of a meaning-shaped hole in our hearts. There are also people who live the best life while secretly feeling empty. The same applies to them, because their lives are just good on paper. They might have the prestigious job, a beautiful spouse and the instagrammable summer vacation. They also have 60 hour work weeks, emotional distance and debt problems. It‘s not bad to have these signs of success, but it should not come at the expense of relationships and health.
How can we solve that problem though? Does this realisation hollow out the sacredness of our purpose or elevate it? Can we even find a meaning that will suffice when we are drowning in despair?
Where do we find meaning?
In general, there are three forms of acquiring meaning: Religion, Philosophy and reproductive success.
In religion, we have five main ones. The three abrahamic religions Christianity, Islam and Judaism as well as the two eastern religions Hinduism and Buddhism. (Some also put Buddhism in the philosophy section) In Christianity you’re rescued via believing that Jesus sacrificed himself for your sins, while in Islam and Judaism you get into heaven via obeying a strict moral code.
In Hinduism you are stuck in a cycle of life, temporary heaven or hell based on the karma you accumulated and then rebirth or transcendence of it. In Buddhism you realise the truth of suffering, the impermanence of everything and the illusion of the self via mindful and altruistic living. These explanations are all oversimplified, but that‘s the big picture.
In philosophy, the major ones that still dominate today‘s culture are Stoicism, Nihilism, Hedonism and the umbrella of Existentialism. Maybe not explicitly, but you can notice them in the zeitgeist. Stoicism says that virtue is the highest good. Therefore, we should use wisdom, temperance and moderation to live a just life. Nihilism asserts that life is meaningless while Hedonism only considers pleasure worthwhile.
Existentialism is split into Sartre, Kierkegaard and the Absurdism of Albert Camus. Think of them as brothers. Kierkegaard is the depressed middle child who says we can only acquire meaning through a leap of faith, consciously discarding rationality. Sartre affirms that life has no objective meaning. We instead craft our own purpose by using our freedom of will. First we exist, then we create our nature. Which means we are responsible for our life, typical elder brother fashion. Camus, the youngest, is proposing a metaphysical middle finger. We yearn for meaning while the world remains silent. We know that and continue. That is the Absurd. His solution is to uphold the tension. To say “fuck it” and try searching for meaning anyway, knowing you will never succeed.
The third option is that the meaning of life is bullshit.3 We are animals. Nothing more, nothing less. There's no soul, afterlife or great quest. We want to feel good because it's correlated with factors that mean reproductive success. We fear death because dying halts our procreation. We seek relationships for alliances and mating opportunities. The meaning of life and morality in general, is a status game. All ways lead to Status.
I agree. This is often associated with being an anti-social cynic but that only happens when you draw self-defeating, pessimistic conclusions. Yes, you could then say that life is meaningless. That we are petty, bad animals driven by instinct and nobody should be trusted and let's have a miserable life. But that doesn't reflect reality. If your life doesn't have any grand meaning, overarching objective or moral duty to fulfill, it's okay to fail. You don't need to pressure yourself with living the best life ever because that's your only chance and it needs to count dammit because my one life in a whole ass mass of lives with humanity probably going extinct at some point and the sun roasting everything away, really fucking counts a lot… We are small in this world.
We don't have to make ourselves smaller than we are though. Our insignificance means we can pursue what we really want. We can fuck around and find out because if we don't, it doesn't matter. You don't have to save the world. If you'd have to, you'd loose your mind. Let's face it, Percy Jackson in real life would go crazy. Or would you entrust the world's fate to a preteen boy? I also disagree with concluding that humans are brutal, backstabbing beasts. Humans are animals, not monsters. Would you say a lioness that kills a gazelle is a monster? Or is it just following their instincts? The same applies to humans. Since I’ve adopted this mindset I became more patient and loving, because I began accepting people and working with their current selves instead of demanding saints.
That biological approach does make our thirst for purpose seem ridiculous. The meaning of life is partly unanswerable because it depends on many beliefs and variables. In addition, it is only a suggestion anyway. And we only want that advice because of status, because of the existence of pain and death. From that perspective, yes meaning does look like bullshit. But I cannot rid myself of the notion that there’s more to it than this deconstruction.
Who cares then?
Why did I go through all this struggle if that’s all there is to it? (Emphasis on if, of course if one of the religions are right, that’s a whole different story) If I agree with that view? Why did I still continue seeking when I thought the search futile? You could point me to Absurdism but even there I wonder why rebellion without hope of change is meaningful. Why should we think of Sisyphos as happy and not miserable?
Because we want meaning. No matter how much we say that it’s bullshit, an illusion, only a status game, we still seek it out. It may be an instinct, only for utility, purely biological but so is love and we still die and live for it. Everything might be bullshit, but I still care and that is real. We often declare meaning to be a dilemma because we say only an objective one can suffice and that one doesn’t exist. By all accounts, I agree that there’s no objective, one-size purpose. But why would we need one? Why should subjective, personal meaning be worse? Because it’s arbitrary? Is not the person you marry, the country you‘re born in, your job and your friends and your house and almost everything you hold dear at least a little bit arbitrary? Does this arbitrariness lessen their importance? I don’t think so.
I’ve always tried to impose meaning on my life. I've searched for it in the abstract, disjointed from my personal life, and figured once I'd found it I’d just be obligated to follow it. That only led to rumination. Maybe such an intellectual purpose doesn't exist. Maybe it can't be accessed with pure thinking. Instead, meaning is an intrinsic property. It emerges out of life, not forced upon it. You have to embody it, not think it through. You can't philosophically argue your way into an emotion and let's face it, purpose is mostly a feeling. Maybe the meaning of life is to be so immersed in living that you forget about the search. When I'm writing, outside in nature or spending time with the people I love, I don't need a why. This right here before me is enough.
Best wishes,
Somebody
https://www.readthesequences.com/The-Bottom-Line
https://www.amazon.de/Denial-Death-Ernest-Becker/dp/1788164261/ref=m_wsixn_inc_v1_sccl_1/258-4989311-8039806?pd_rd_w=nBiGy&content-id=amzn1.sym.93cfca18-d4ae-4b31-b564-9b0417f4fc9f&pf_rd_p=93cfca18-d4ae-4b31-b564-9b0417f4fc9f&pf_rd_r=DMKFY1SA58DMH3548HEN&pd_rd_wg=eJKjo&pd_rd_r=62362353-f0eb-4be1-906b-5a4fdde56602&pd_rd_i=1788164261&psc=1
I'm glad I came across you, Doris. You question.
I think our communities would be pleasanter places if more people asked questions. I well remember the summer of 1989 when so many people started asking why the repressive order in Eastern Europe was allowed to remain that it was overthrown, within weeks.
My take on purpose is that individually and collectively, our big-brained species decided that certain things matter, and we teach that belief to successive generations, who then act to protect and uphold those principles.
All humans fundamentally want the same things, although differences are apparent in the detail. It is this detail that comprises our purpose, which can be seen in our actions. We don't have to find it or know it. Our purpose is as we subconsciously decided in our early years, and we endeavour to fulfil that purpose during every moment of life. But those who are interested can easily identify it. Recurring patterns in behaviour communicate it.
We want life, you described that want clearly. There is evidence: our immediate desire to care for anyone dying. We'll spend any amount to stop lives ending. We value life so much that we've created a myriad of explanations about what happens 'after', so that we don't have to think about it as dying, but simply 'passing on' to something better.
But back to the living. We want comfort - a companion, health, safety ... we want separateness - the ability to think and do as we wish ... we want control over our path ... we want recognition for our contributions ... and we want our communities strengthened - meaning our collective assets safeguarded. These assets include the contributions each makes to the whole, and our structures and history.
All values are subjective. Some believe that killing off other communities strengthens theirs. Your life may not matter after all, if someone says you don't count. And control is often at the expense of others. We're all very good at turning a blind eye to the number of eggs that must be broken if breaking them will uphold principles we think matter.
Our inner motivation to uphold our values is only one aspect of our purpose, but even in a world where long comments are accepted, this one is long enough already.
Interesting piece. I've been thinking about things similar to this as well recently, like how I define philosophy and if there's any point in just breaking things down just to prove that things are uncertain and pretty subjective.
(Here are my thoughts) https://open.substack.com/pub/azark/p/what-is-the-value-of-philosophy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=31vkue
I think yeah it's hard to find a comfortable solution of meaning in a purely intellectual way. Meaning seems to always be a result of a reciprocal process - social ties, rituals, or creating things; doing what we love.
Maybe this urge is intrinsic, or a result of my life so far, but I have hope. I see no point in using philosophy to only break things down, or rationalize a conclusion I don't feel connected to. So yeah maybe it is subjective in a way. But that's fine. Philosophy was never meant to find truth - science was. Philosophy is more meant to show us what CAN be, not what SHOULD. Should suggests there's some intrinsic hierarchy to things. Can gives us options and new perspectives to look from.
Excuse my long comment hah :')